To Err is Human, To Beg ... is Dog?

Webster's Dictionary - 1992 - Beg v.t. ask earnestly, beseech; take for granted; v.i. ask for or live on alms

I often wonder if it would be just as easy to train humans not to beg as it is to train dogs. Then, today I had my answer - NO. Dogs and humans beg for the same reasons; because they desire something, weather it be dinner, a toy, some treats, bird crap, jewelry, money etc.

I find, however, that dogs pick up cues a lot fast than humans, and I mean A LOT. Humans take a while to clue in.

You can use the "if I ignore you, you'll go away" technique, which often times, when you are persistent, will work on a blubbering dog waiting for a scrap. Eventually they'll huff off, sigh so that you can hear them and know they're pissed, and go sit in a corner somewhere hoping you'll feel sorry for them (I know, I'm Anthromorphizing, but bear with me, I do it a lot). Eventually, with consistency, they'll even forget what begging is.

Or, you can employ the handy dandy "place" training. In general, show them where they are to be for that moment in time, and enlighten them that they have to stay there until released (treats, rewards blah blah) - this I have used with great success on dogs.

Nice and easy you say, simple to follow, should be quick to pick up. Not so with humans. I have desperately tried the "lalala, I can't hear you, I'm covering my eyes and I can't see you either" (or "if I ignor you, you'll go away") technique, to no avail. I've even gone as far as trying to "place" train some, refraining them from entering my workspace, but these techniques only seem to irate, causing further issues with their behaviour.

And so, today, I had yet another human begging session with one who has less sense than a bag of hammers, and more than enough high and mighty attitude to be featured on some day time soap opera. Needless to say, neither technique worked, so I'm beginning to ponder the use of a shock collar...at least it would make me feel better.